Oh, how I've missed me!

It has been forever!!  Not because I have nothing to write about but I've been lazy about it.  Which is weird because I really do enjoy it and I want to look back on these posts one day and remember all the funny things my crazy boys did.  And it also gives me an outlet that I need to use more...I need it!!

Instead of backtracking, I'll start with the here and now.  I'm very excited to announce that Callen is now training wheel-free!  I've been trying to teach him for the longest time and earlier this week, Jack gave him a quick lesson and now Callen is riding all over our court.  At first, I was a little hurt that he didn't learn it from me but I see now that it has bonded them a bit and I love it.  What else can Jack teach him???  I'm seriously going to milk this for all I can! As much as they fight, they do have an unmistakable bond which I hope will continue for the rest of their lives.  They're so different from one another and I'm starting to see that in the future, instead of that causing friction, they will learn that they can depend on each other for those differences.  What else could a parent ask for?  Well now that I say that, I would also like it if they stopped missing the toilet and peeing all over the bathroom floor.  I thought Callen was the culprit but after a play date (Hi Karen!) it was discovered that Jack had peed on their bathroom floor.  What a nice thing to leave behind after a play date!  Whatever happened to forgetting jackets or toys?  No, my boys leave pee as a reminder that we were there.  Nice, huh?  We have been invited back, so I grateful for the second chance...but now I have to inspect for pee after each bathroom visit.  I thought I would be done with stuff like that by now!!

Ice Lasers and Allergies

First, Callen’s craziness:

   Near Callen’s preschool is a nature trail that he and I like to walk before school starts.  This morning, we got out of the car and walked on the sidewalk to get to the trail and Callen started jumping over the cracks and lines in the sidewalk.  After a few jumps, he turned around to me and yells, “watch out for the ice lasers!!!”  He scared the heck out of me and after I realized that he was not yelling to inform me about an impending grizzly bear attack, I calmed down enough to figure out what he was telling me.  As it turns out, “ice lasers” are deadly cracks and lines in the sidewalk that turn your feet into, you guessed it, ice.  I love Callen’s imagination but it doesn’t usually scare me the way his deadly ice lasers did today.

Now for Jack’s “allergy” issues:

  Today I learned that my oldest son has a rare and mysterious allergy.  This allergy causes a person to come up with strange explanations as to why they have this allergy and what it does to them.  It doesn’t have any obvious physical characteristics, such as rashes or bumps, however, it will make the person fake a cough and then say, “bang…see, I’m allergic”.  So, according to my son, he is allergic to chicken sandwiches.  I know what you’re thinking…how can someone be allergic to chicken sandwiches?   But trust me, his nonsensical, confusing, and irrational description of exactly what having a chicken sandwich allergy can be like, was very compelling…and confusing.  Actually, he explained it twice and I’m still not sure exactly what the symptoms are but I’m hoping to create awareness of this rare and horrible (maybe?) condition by…well, I guess I won’t buy him anymore chicken sandwiches.  Sheesh…why won’t he just say he doesn’t like them??!!

It's been a little while...

Okay, so I know I haven't written lately...truth is, I've been a bit discouraged about my writing but I'm going to start up again and see what happens. I really do enjoy it and I think of it as a kind of record about the funny stuff my boys do; things I wouldn't otherwise remember if I didn't write this blog.

Okay, just to catch you up, we have had no ER visits since my last adjustment to the counter. Truly amazing, and for a while it seemed as though this blog was good luck against ER visit-worthy injuries, but clearly it was coincidence, or maybe my standards for ER visit worthiness is lower than before. Really it could be either...or both...or a third thing. I'm not sure...in any case, no ER visits. But I should mention that Callen has a black eye right now from landing face-first into the arm of the sofa while jumping from a chair in order to avoid the "hot lava" (carpet).

Also, my dog Dave had surgery on his leg in January...he's doing well now but it was a long two months. He did the cone thing for 2 weeks after the surgery and I think I hated it more than him. He sleeps next to me on his bed and he could not get comfortable because of that ridiculous (but necessary, I guess) cone. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I would have slept better if I had worn the cone on my head.

Oh! And Callen is 4 now! My little guy is growing up and he still says the funniest stuff. "Do alligators have butts?" "Pegasus’ have special powers...horsepower!" And the other morning, he came into my room and woke me up. The only thing he said was "dry bones". Uh, yeah...kinda weird. It wasn't until the next day when I told my husband about it that he told me that Dry Bones is a character in the Mario Cart Wii game. So, I guess Callen won't be a serial killer after all. Thank goodness!

Until next time. Soon! I promise. :)

A Christmas hug (and other awkward moments)

Earlier this month, the boys and I went to the zoo to watch the animals open their Christmas presents.  The small monkeys (not sure of their exact “monkey” name…Laura, does that irk you?  Ha!) had just received their wrapped presents and were checking them out.  When the first mystery monkey, henceforth referred to as MM1, began to open his gift, curiosity got the best of MM2 and he walked over to observe.  At this point, at least 30 people, mostly kids, were watching.  You know where this is going right?  MM1 stopped opening the gift when MM2 got close to it and MM2 began “relations” with it.  The crowd became silent and the parents looked around at one another to see who could come up with the best way to explain what was happening.  Of course, Jack was the first kid to speak up:

 “Mom, the monkeys are excited about their Christmas presents, aren’t they?”

Me:  “Ah, they sure are.  I think the monkeys are giving each other a Christmas hug.”

I awkwardly looked around to get the approval of the other parents…I got the nod and smirk from them and, thankfully, the monkeys went back to their presents, which by the way, were fruits and a rope toy.

A few days later, Buddy, the neighbor’s dog came over for a play date with Dave.  (He comes to our porch when the neighbors are outside with him.  He shakes his collar to make a noise and when Dave hears it, he runs to the front door.  When I open the door, Buddy comes in and he and Dave go run around in the backyard for a few minutes.  It’s really cute.)  Anyway, Buddy had just been over so I took Dave out front with us while the boys played.  I walked Dave over to see Buddy again at the neighbor’s house and the boys came over to tell the neighbors about how he and Dave love to play together in our backyard.  They also go on to tell them how Dave was giving Buddy a “Christmas hug” and how happy Dave must be that it’s almost Christmas.  It was awkward and then I felt obligated to explain to them about what had happened at the zoo.  Also, their 15 year old daughter and her friend were there and I felt somewhat judged by the whole situation and how I handled it.  I can never get out of these situations without them backfiring on me.  I’m sure it won’t be long now before one of the boys asks me what kind of hug Dave is giving Buddy since it’s no longer Christmas time.  Friendship hug?

I finally figured out the problem…

I am the problem.

Jack and I were in the car yesterday and he said to me, “Mom, when we get home, I want to show you something funny”.  I said, “Jack, is it going to have something to do with your butt again?  Why do you think that’s so funny?”  He then said, “Mom, it’s ALWAYS about my butt and you ALWAYS laugh at least a little.”

See…I am the problem.

The gross cannot be out-grossed

There are only a few, precious things I want more than for my boys to stop picking their noses and eating the results of a successful pick.  In this order, I want a healthy and happy family, a life surrounded with loving family and friends, and for my boys to stop picking their noses.  I’ve tried several approaches to get them to stop…shame, guilt, embarrassment…they’ve had no impact at all.  A few days ago, the boys and I were in the car and I glanced in the rear view mirror.  Jack was, of course, picking his nose.  So I decided to try to out-gross them by telling them that every time I see them picking their noses, I would make them stick their fingers in their ears, scoop out some ear wax, and eat it.  They were not deterred.  Both of them, at the same time, stuck their fingers in their ears, sniffed at the ear wax…and, I don’t know what happened next because I quickly averted my eyes and gave my full and undivided attention to driving.  But, the damage had been done and now the boys wanted to talk ALL about ear wax.  We have a weekly ear cleaning routine so on Wednesday nights, right after they step out of the shower, there I am, Q-tip in hand, ready to clean those nasty ears.  This can be kind of exciting because well, sometimes I get some good size nuggets out and we all marvel at them.  Sometimes other people in the house get called into the bathroom to see.  Anyway, I’m getting off track here but my point is that I really thought they got that ear wax was gross.  I was wrong… if boogers are not gross, why would ear wax be?  Hello!!  So I learned my lesson, once again, and will just have to live with having to tell them to keep their fingers out of their ears too.  Maybe I’ll give the shame approach another try.

So it begins...again

So I just reset the ER counter.  The boys and I have been stuck in the house for the last 3 days because first Jack was sick and Callen woke up sick this morning and had a terrible cough.  As soon as my husband got home from work this afternoon, I went out for a bit just to get away.  I went to Toys R Us to check out some sales and while there, Callen’s fever spiked and my husband couldn’t get it to go down.  So off to the ER they went…it looks like he has an ear infection.  Blanton and Callen are still there waiting to get results from the chest x-rays.  The good news is that his fever came down and it looks they’ll be home soon.  It’s almost always me taking the boys to the ER because until just recently, Blanton was always working so many hours.  On my way home from Toys R Us, I stopped by the hospital to get Jack.  Callen was a wreck and just wanted me to hold him.  Blanton clearly had the situation under control but it was hard to see him so upset and hurting.  As soon as he gets home, I’m going to cuddle with him until he falls asleep on me.  I think I need it as much as he does. 

  On a positive note, I think that was the longest stretch we have had without an ER visit.  We went the WHOLE summer without even one stitch in someone's head.  210 days ER-free...not too bad!