A Christmas hug (and other awkward moments)

Earlier this month, the boys and I went to the zoo to watch the animals open their Christmas presents.  The small monkeys (not sure of their exact “monkey” name…Laura, does that irk you?  Ha!) had just received their wrapped presents and were checking them out.  When the first mystery monkey, henceforth referred to as MM1, began to open his gift, curiosity got the best of MM2 and he walked over to observe.  At this point, at least 30 people, mostly kids, were watching.  You know where this is going right?  MM1 stopped opening the gift when MM2 got close to it and MM2 began “relations” with it.  The crowd became silent and the parents looked around at one another to see who could come up with the best way to explain what was happening.  Of course, Jack was the first kid to speak up:

 “Mom, the monkeys are excited about their Christmas presents, aren’t they?”

Me:  “Ah, they sure are.  I think the monkeys are giving each other a Christmas hug.”

I awkwardly looked around to get the approval of the other parents…I got the nod and smirk from them and, thankfully, the monkeys went back to their presents, which by the way, were fruits and a rope toy.

A few days later, Buddy, the neighbor’s dog came over for a play date with Dave.  (He comes to our porch when the neighbors are outside with him.  He shakes his collar to make a noise and when Dave hears it, he runs to the front door.  When I open the door, Buddy comes in and he and Dave go run around in the backyard for a few minutes.  It’s really cute.)  Anyway, Buddy had just been over so I took Dave out front with us while the boys played.  I walked Dave over to see Buddy again at the neighbor’s house and the boys came over to tell the neighbors about how he and Dave love to play together in our backyard.  They also go on to tell them how Dave was giving Buddy a “Christmas hug” and how happy Dave must be that it’s almost Christmas.  It was awkward and then I felt obligated to explain to them about what had happened at the zoo.  Also, their 15 year old daughter and her friend were there and I felt somewhat judged by the whole situation and how I handled it.  I can never get out of these situations without them backfiring on me.  I’m sure it won’t be long now before one of the boys asks me what kind of hug Dave is giving Buddy since it’s no longer Christmas time.  Friendship hug?

I finally figured out the problem…

I am the problem.

Jack and I were in the car yesterday and he said to me, “Mom, when we get home, I want to show you something funny”.  I said, “Jack, is it going to have something to do with your butt again?  Why do you think that’s so funny?”  He then said, “Mom, it’s ALWAYS about my butt and you ALWAYS laugh at least a little.”

See…I am the problem.

The gross cannot be out-grossed

There are only a few, precious things I want more than for my boys to stop picking their noses and eating the results of a successful pick.  In this order, I want a healthy and happy family, a life surrounded with loving family and friends, and for my boys to stop picking their noses.  I’ve tried several approaches to get them to stop…shame, guilt, embarrassment…they’ve had no impact at all.  A few days ago, the boys and I were in the car and I glanced in the rear view mirror.  Jack was, of course, picking his nose.  So I decided to try to out-gross them by telling them that every time I see them picking their noses, I would make them stick their fingers in their ears, scoop out some ear wax, and eat it.  They were not deterred.  Both of them, at the same time, stuck their fingers in their ears, sniffed at the ear wax…and, I don’t know what happened next because I quickly averted my eyes and gave my full and undivided attention to driving.  But, the damage had been done and now the boys wanted to talk ALL about ear wax.  We have a weekly ear cleaning routine so on Wednesday nights, right after they step out of the shower, there I am, Q-tip in hand, ready to clean those nasty ears.  This can be kind of exciting because well, sometimes I get some good size nuggets out and we all marvel at them.  Sometimes other people in the house get called into the bathroom to see.  Anyway, I’m getting off track here but my point is that I really thought they got that ear wax was gross.  I was wrong… if boogers are not gross, why would ear wax be?  Hello!!  So I learned my lesson, once again, and will just have to live with having to tell them to keep their fingers out of their ears too.  Maybe I’ll give the shame approach another try.

So it begins...again

So I just reset the ER counter.  The boys and I have been stuck in the house for the last 3 days because first Jack was sick and Callen woke up sick this morning and had a terrible cough.  As soon as my husband got home from work this afternoon, I went out for a bit just to get away.  I went to Toys R Us to check out some sales and while there, Callen’s fever spiked and my husband couldn’t get it to go down.  So off to the ER they went…it looks like he has an ear infection.  Blanton and Callen are still there waiting to get results from the chest x-rays.  The good news is that his fever came down and it looks they’ll be home soon.  It’s almost always me taking the boys to the ER because until just recently, Blanton was always working so many hours.  On my way home from Toys R Us, I stopped by the hospital to get Jack.  Callen was a wreck and just wanted me to hold him.  Blanton clearly had the situation under control but it was hard to see him so upset and hurting.  As soon as he gets home, I’m going to cuddle with him until he falls asleep on me.  I think I need it as much as he does. 

  On a positive note, I think that was the longest stretch we have had without an ER visit.  We went the WHOLE summer without even one stitch in someone's head.  210 days ER-free...not too bad!

A sick kid. (do not use your hands!)

Jack is sick on his 1^st day of Thanksgiving break.  I feel bad for him but he is finally at an age where he accepts that he must rest to get better.  And, for the last several years, he has been good at puking into a bucket…a skill that comes with age and one that I am equally grateful for each and every time him and Callen are sick.  Right now, Jack is in his bed, tucked in, and watching a movie.  He wants Dave to be in there with him, but Dave always follows me everywhere I go and won’t stay in his room.  Anyway, this is not my first sick kid…I know the routine and I hate to admit it, but I can usually get a lot of stuff done when the boys are sick...a definite upside.  So here are some things I have learned about having a sick kid at home:

- they want to be loved on and treated like they are the center of the universe and, for the duration of their cold, to me they are;  J

- if they need to vomit and you do not have anything for them to vomit in to, your first instinct will be to let them puke into your hands.  Although this may prevent some puke from hitting the carpet, it doesn’t work well enough to make it worthwhile.  Oh, and you’ll also have your hands full of puke;

- the kids get a nice break from each other and what a relief that is for EVERTYONE.  No fighting, no bickering, and no brotherly playfulness that always gets out of hand and ends in someone crying…always;

- a sure sign that the sick child is feeling better is that all behavior listed in the previous bullet will resume;

- do not give the sick child any sort of bell or noise making object to use if they need you.  By the end of the day, that object will have drained you of your patience…and believe me, you’ll need all of it if it’s a bad cold and there’s vomiting involved (remember, not in your hands!)

- pay attention to their symptoms and behavior while they're sick.  It will help you in the future to be able to determine when he or she needs to see the doctor AND since your kids will feel good about being the center of attention for a while, you may also need to be able to raise the bull sh*t flag on them in case they try to take advantage of the situation;

- when they are feeling better, they will try to take advantage of the situation.  They will expect you to continue to wait on them and respond to their requests for food as they yell them from down the hall.  Beware and follow your instincts!  Trust me…that’s what they’re doing.

IHOP, Santa, beer, and me

We all know that some crazy things can come out of our kids' mouths.  What they say is sometimes the funniest, most embarrassing, most honest things we have ever heard.  And sometimes, they say things that make us wonder what the heck they are learning from us.  Okay, so here's what happened tonight at IHOP: my husband and I were trying to get the boys to settle down and stop bothering each other.  So of course, the topic lately has been Christmas and what they need to do and how they need to behave if they want Santa to bring them toys.  So basically, Santa = leverage, at least for me.  The conversation went like this:  "Hey boys...it's getting cold outside.  Guess what cold weather means?  (blank stares from all, including husband) It's getting closer to SOMEONE coming to visit...and guess what that SOMEONE brings????"  Well, Callen opened his mouth and said, "beer".  I do not know what I am doing that would make my son think that Santa will be bringing beer for Christmas.  And did he mean for him or hubs and I????  I decided not to ask and I knew by the look on my husbands face that he wanted to let it go too.  It was kind of funny and I did laugh a bit, but seriously, it does make me wonder if I'm keeping the family train on the tracks or if I, at some point, built the track wrong which will eventually derail the whole train.  I'm not sure but I do know that it was not my most proud moment as a parent.  Oh, and Callen also farted quite loud several times while at the table which his plastic booster seat amplified.  So yeah, it was an interesting night but at least IHOP has free kids meals from 4-7pm every night.

His whine, my wine

I seriously need to vent!  Callen has been a wreck lately and is fighting back about everything.  No matter what I ask him, he whines, resists, and throws a fit.  Here are some examples:

- he had a huge meltdown at Jack's soccer game last Saturday.  He wanted to play Bey Blades with some other kids, but they haven't been getting along lately so I kept them apart. 

- his preschool class had a Halloween party last Friday and he was complaining about going because he wanted to "stay home with Dave".  When we got there, he screamed and kicked and refused to go into the building.  I went in and watched him from the front door and he just stood outside on the walkway, arms crossed in "pout position" and lower lip over his upper lip.  He eventually came in after 20 minutes and some enticing by another parent.

- and today, I had to take him to Kids Camp so I could help with Jacks Halloween party in his class.  On the way there, he started in on the whining and I reminded him that tonight was Halloween and he would be trick or treating later.  He said he didn't want to and that he wanted to stay home.  See, there is nothing I can say that he will just agree to and be happy about.  Anyway, he loves Kids Camp, but I had to carry him out of the car while he screamed and cried.  After I left, I called to check on him and, of course, he was fine and having fun. 

I feel like I am getting a taste of what his teenage years will be like.  It's scary.  The little guy is clearly tired but refuses to sleep.  Just a few minutes ago he had a fit because he wasn't allowed to play the Wii until he cleaned up his room.  After some hardcore whining, he went in his room and slammed the door.  I just checked on him and he is asleep under his art desk.  Below is a picture I took last week:

I'm at a loss...any and all ideas are welcome, as are donations of wine, beer, and earplugs.

New post from the "lady"

Okay, sorry.  I've received so many requests from people around the world to update my blog...and really, who am I to disappoint my adoring fans?  What is that you say?  I have no fans from around the world?  Actually, smartass, I just checked my stats and it seems someone in Romania has had a little look-see at my blog.  Okay, so it was just one look-see and it was probably a mistake, but it counts...and yes, I now consider myself to be known world-wide. 

Okay, things have been busy but I have a few things to share:

This one was taken after preschool...can you guess what the letter of the week was? 

That's right!  E!  He is clearly wearing elephant ears and has a trunk.  I don't know how anyone would mistake him for a "Lady Aardvark."  What a jerk!  I'm never going to that Walgreens again.



Here is Callen getting in some time with the Bey Blades while Jack is in school.  "Let'er rip!!!!"  Seriously, someone is making a killing on this toy.  It's so simple and innovative; even my husband and I have fun playing (for very short periods of time).  It got me thinking about some other toys that could be put on steroids.  How about "Acidic Potato"?  Better pass it or the acid will burn the fingerprints off your fingers.  Or, "Connect 4 or Else".  If you lose, you get punched in the face.  Remember: this blog is date stamped, so you are welcome to steal my ideas, put your hard-earned money into them, and sell them to major toy makers.  I will, however, then demand my share via lawsuit, but I really don't have time to implement these ideas without some help...from you, if you're able to spend some time on MY ideas.

This is a little hard to see, but this is a picture of Jack dipping his waffle into salsa.  I don't know what else to say about this.

Callen is a few months short of turning four and we have been seeing more and more of the little person he is becoming.  Both my boys have a very good sense of humor and several times a day, we have a big laugh about something.  Well yesterday, Callen kept calling me "Lady".  As in "Hey Lady!  Look at this!"  "Hey Lady, can I have some grapes?"  It was kind of funny but I wasn't exactly sure how to take it.  So I just said, "Um, Cal, you need to use your nice words."  Then he said, "Hey Lady, can I have some grapes, please?"  I saw the smirk on his face and I knew he was testing me.  I gave him a look that acknowledged the funniness of it but told him not to push it.  He got the message, then later, when we were playing outside with balloon rockets, he called me the "balloon man" because I was pumping up the balloons for him.  I actually preferred to be called "lady" by my son, but today, he's back to calling me "Mom".

About my last post.....

So, my husband is not too thrilled about my previous post about Callen dressing up as Hannibal Lector or Al Pacino from Scarface for Halloween.  In my defense, it was 2am when I wrote that post and the whole Amanda Knox thing was going on, although they’re probably not related.  (Or are they?)  Anyway, the good news is that my husband is reading my blog!  Hi Sweetie!!  The bad news is that I finally found a costume for Jack:  

Sweetie, I thought you might like this because you want to get that Mustang from the Vanilla Ice video.  What, what???  You would never let Jack wear this?  Yes, I'm being a smartass (but readers, he really does want that car.)  Anyway, two quick notes for the hubs:  please don't take my middle of the night ramblings too seriously and, no, I would never actually wheel Callen around in a hand cart wearing a Hannible Lector costume.  That boy is almost 4, he can walk!

It's 3am...and this is keeping me awake???

There’s been a lot of talk about Halloween costumes at our house lately.  The latest is that Callen wants to be an astronaut and Jack is hovering between Jack Sparrow and constantly changing Star Wars characters.  I fell asleep early tonight so now it’s 3 o'clock in the morning and all I can think about is funny Halloween costumes for kids.  Well, funny for me at least.  My first idea is for Callen to be Al Pacino’s character from Scarface, complete with a dark haired wig, cigar, open collared shirt, and gold chain around his neck.  I would draw the line at the machine gun…we’ve made a decision to be a weapon-free family.  I could teach Callen to say “You wanna f*** with me? Okay. You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!” (I guess I would let him pretend he has a machine gun, it’s only fair).

My next idea is for Callen to be Hannibal Lecter.  I would go all out with this one and would put him in this costume since it really is the most recognizable.

I guess I'd have to attach his trick-or treat bag to the hand cart and just wheel him around the neighborhood.  It may be kind of tiring for me but it would make it very easy to keep track of him.

I haven’t thought of any good costumes for Jack yet.  He’s 6 so the humor of seeing him in costumes like these is kind of lost on him and becomes a bit creepy.  Almost like when I hear kids his age talk about how many people they’ve killed in their video games.  Callen, on the other hand, is a preschooler so his innocence is what would make these costumes both inappropriate AND funny, like when Jack farts at the library.

Can I get back to you on that...?

Jack asked me last night were he will live when he is “old” like my husband and I.  I told him that he will live in his own house and maybe even have a family of his own.  He got teary eyed and said he wanted to live with us forever.  It’s funny to think of how much things will change when he is a teenager.  Then he asked me why God killed the dinosaurs.  He stumped me on that one.

This won't last long...but I'll take what I can get

While I was walking Jack to his class last week, I teased him that I was going to give him a loud kiss on his cheek to embarrass him in front of his friends.  He said I could go ahead and do it so I kissed his cheek as loud as I could.  He laughed and it was a sweet moment between us.  I’ll never forget it.  J

This is the kind of stuff I’m dealing with lately

At 4am this morning, he crept into our room.  He was there to wake me up…again.  Yes, it was Callen and he brought with him a terrible lie.  “I peed my bed and jammies”.  His sweet little voice charmed me out of my comfortable bed and down the hall to his room with him.  I checked his bed for pee…it was dry.  He had already taken his “Cars” jammies off and I checked those too…dry.  What was going on here?  What was this little guy up too?  “I want to wear my Scooby’s” he said as he pulled his favorite jammies out of his closet.  I instantly I knew he had me where he wanted me;  he was using me for my buttoning skills.  I told him he needed to go back to bed and he instantly began to try to intimidate me with high-pitched crying and various other scene-making antics.  He has misjudged me…for I will not take that shit.  No, I will not take it!  I told him I would put his butt in the shower, jammies and all, just like Dad did last week, and he began to calm down.  I asked if he needed to go pee; he was adamant:  “No!”  I took a deep breath, got him back in his bed, tucked him in, and began to walk out of his room.  I took only one step and I felt it…I had just stepped into a patch of pee-soaked carpet.  Instead of using the bathroom, he decided to just pee on the carpet.  I glared at him and he gave me a coy look that told me that he knew he did wrong but was also impressed with himself.  So my husband has the day off today and instead of hanging out with my guys, I’ll have to steam clean the carpet in his room…again.  This is how life with Callen has been lately; every day is something new that I could have never expected and cannot seem to prevent.  *sigh*…

A bit of this, that, and the other

I think things are finally settling down here.  Sure, I am busier than I have ever been, there are never enough hours in the day and Callen has a black eye, but the new rhythm of our lives is finally coming together for me.  Two of my favorite things that have come together since school started are that Jack and I pick out all of his school clothes for the week each Sunday night.  Jack doesn’t care much about what he wears so this is an extremely easy process that speeds up the morning routine for us.  The other thing is that my close friend and neighbor, Tracey, has been making my life so much easier.  She and I have an awesome carpool schedule and if something comes up, she is there for me whenever possible and vice versa.  Thank goodness for the help of other moms and friends…we get it and look after each other.  Before I had kids, I could have never imagined how important these relationships would be and how much they would help maintain my sanity.

Okay, sappy stuff is over (for now).  Yesterday after the church service, I picked up Callen in his Sunday school room, Cowpoke Junction.  He and I then went upstairs to get Jack from his Sunday school room.  After we got Jack, he said he had to use the bathroom and ran off down the hall.  Callen was doing something that distracted me and when I looked up, Jack was gone.  I assumed Jack had gone to the upstairs bathroom not far from us so Callen and I went there to wait by the bathroom door for him.  He was in there for a few minutes so I sent Callen in to check on him.  Then Callen was in there for a few minutes and I had to go check on him.  I had to go through one door of the men’s bathroom which led to a small hallway and then go through another door that opened to the bathroom.  (I was surprised how clean it was in there).  Anyway, when I opened the door, I found Callen standing on a stool wetting his hair and “making his hair handsome”.  When I asked about Jack, he said “he’s not here”.  Panic hit me immediately…where the heck was Jack?????  I had to drag Callen out because he did not get how scary this situation had just become; he was still very much focused on this hair.  So I get him out and head back toward the direction of our car and his classroom.  Finally I see Jack standing by the glass doors looking out into the parking lot at our car.  It turns out that he had gone downstairs to use the main bathroom which is a bit of a walk away from where we were.  Jack told me he was waiting by the glass doors so he would be able to see us if we went out to the car (as if we would leave without him).  He’s a smart kid and I was happy with the way he handled not knowing where I was.  He went to the one spot where he would be able to see me and be seen from a few different directions.  I’m not sure if this was a parenting success or failure, but everything worked out fine…thankfully!

Okay, more sappy stuff.  Today is 9/11 and I feel compelled to acknowledge this day here.  We all remember that day and where were.  The question of where we were on 9/11 has replaced “where were you when Kennedy was shot?” and before that there was “where were you when Pearl Harbor was attacked?”  Although these kinds of nation-changing events don’t happen very often, they leave in their wake a severe sense of sadness, loss, fear, and a million “what ifs”.  As bad as we are wounded by these events, they also leave in their wake a sense of unity in our country, a sense of duty, and eventually, a nation that can heal and recover from such unimaginable tragedy.  I can look back on that moment in time and see myself standing in the administration office of my building on Naval Station Norfolk when I heard the news about that first plane.  It’s easy to get stuck in that moment because it’s a clear mark of before and after.  Just before that moment, as far as I knew, everything was fine.  After that moment, things would never be the same.  Shortly after that moment, the magnitude of what was happening would hit us all like a sledgehammer.  Focusing on the bad is so much easier than focusing on the good, so, on this day, 9/11/11, I choose to focus on the good things that have changed in my life since that day:  I married a wonderful man, have two wonderful sons, and a happy and full life.  All of these things can exist at the same time as the sadness I feel for the events of that day ten years ago.  I don’t have to give up one to have the other.

I'm tired, things are crazy...and some other unpleasantness

I’ve been neglectful with this blog.  Truth is, I am swamped.  Jack started first grade on the 15^th and things are going well, but between school, soccer, house stuff, and the never-ending errands that need to be ran, I am tired by the end of the day.  Not so much physically, but mentally.  It doesn’t help that Callen has stopped taking naps, so I am no longer able to take my hour long “lunch break”.  I really need some mental down time during the day to carry me over until after the boys are asleep.  I’d like to interact with my husband after bedtime, but lately my brain is struggling to put full sentences together.  Once I get used to the routine, it will get easier I’m sure but to go from summer break to full back-to-school mode is a challenge.  Callen starts preschool on Tuesday too and although that means more running around, it also means potential down time for me (meaning doing anything without constant interruption).  Anyway, despite the fact that I haven’t posted much lately, things continue to be interesting around here.  My 3½ year old said, “I hate my life” when I told him he had to start his morning chores the other day, my 6 year old continues to use the excuse “my brain told me too” whenever he gets caught doing something he shouldn’t, and just today my little guy pooped on our backyard patio.  One minute, I looked outside and saw him “digging for treasures”, and the next his shovel was in the dirt and he was gone.  I went to the sliding door and there he was, standing upright, his pants and Scooby Doo underwear around his ankles, pooping.  This was not the first time either.  I went outside to bust him and of course, I stepped in some of his…um…unpleasantness.   Yuck!  Oh the joys of parenthood…

Success? Ah, not quite

School started this week for Jack and before I get into my final grade for the summer, I want to say that Jack loves 1^st grade.  He tends to adjust well to new things and, to be honest, I think he is also enjoying spending some time with people other than Callen and I. 

On June 1^st, I posted about some of my summer goals.  (Summer...please be nice to me)  Aren’t my intentions great?!  Don’t I really know how to plan things and then fail to follow through with them?!  Yes and yes, I do.  It’s not true for everything in my life but I really want the best for my boys and this summer, I set my goals a little too high.  But have you noticed that we went the whole summer without an ER visit????  This is a big deal for us and I’m so happy!!!

So, anyway, here’s how I graded myself on each individual goal:

Goal 1:  They’re both doing the summer reading program at our library which includes story times, movies, and prizes for reading a certain number of books;

My grade:  B+.  We did go to several events at the library but I was not able to steer them toward the books that they needed to read in order to enter the contests.  However, they did discover the awesome world of the public library and, for that, I am very happy.

Goal 2:   we’ll be going to the gym every possible morning;

My grade:  A:  Yeah, I kick ass.  Big time.  Oh, and I ran a 10k this summer too.  (But it was my worst ever.)

Goal 3:  I printed out a list of all the playgrounds in our town and we’ll be visiting all of them and a few big ones in Sacramento;

My grade:  C:  Look, I would have totally done this but the boys have their favorite parks and actually complained when we didn’t go to those parks.  Actually, I like the same parks they do so I didn’t push too hard.

Goal 4: the kids on our street will be publishing a weekly newsletter with drawings, jokes, and news about our street;

My grade:  F-:  Perfect example of dreaming too big.  The boys could have done this but when they’re together, sitting down and working on a project just does not happen.  Individually, yes.  Together, no.  I really should have known this would not work.

Goal 5:  they’ll be doing educational workbooks (I’m shooting for daily);

My grade:  F:  Um…let’s just move on….

Goal 6:  lots of playdates!

My grade:  B:  We had several playdates but strangely enough, we really didn’t see anyone from Jack’s Kindergarten class.  I’m not sure how that happened since the mom’s I know from that class are really cool.  I can’t let that happen again.

Goal 7:  chores and work around the house;

My grade:  B:  I did the usual daily stuff but digging in deep with the boys around is hard for me.  I have trouble getting stuff done when I’m constantly interrupted and I hate not finishing something I start, which sometimes makes it hard for me to start.  (Isn’t there an A&E show about that?)

Goal 8:  gardening;

My grade:  F:  I love that Callen is into helping me in the yard, but his idea of helping always involves making mud and then…no gardening done and Callen needs a bath.  Counterproductive!!

Goal 9:  trips to kids’ events and places like Fairytale town;

My grade:  B:  We did quite a bit of this.  We went to Bounce places, Fairytale Town, the Folsom Zoo, a  cattle drive, and a few other things.

Overall, I give myself a C.  Not what I would have hoped for but I did learn a lot this summer.  Mostly, I learned that I’m an excellent list maker!  So, the school year is off to great start and I’m thrilled to have a normal routine again, even if it does get a bit crazy.  (Okay, really crazy).

Spider-man mysteries solved

Yesterday Jack was running around acting like Spider-Man.  A few days ago my husband bought him a web-shooting thing that attaches to his arm and shoots out a shoe string.  So he was springing out from behind doors and corners pouncing on Callen and I.  Yeah, kind of cute the first few times, but as I'm sure you can guess, it got old...very...quickly.  Anyway, I seized this opportunity to get a video interview with Jack.  There's a lot of noise in the background because my husband (who was standing about three feet to my left) was fully absorbed in his IPhone and somehow unaware that I was struggling.  Oh, and later that night, he actually asked ME if I was addicted to my IPhone.  Hello!   The video is too long for blogspot so I had to go through Youtube to post it:

Jacks Spider-man interview

A smart-ass...already????

Tonight after getting the boys out of the bath tub, I sent them each to go pick out their PJ’s.  Jack got his on but Callen walked naked into the kitchen where I was cooking dinner and held up a pair of khaki pants and a brown shirt.  He said that he wanted to wear them to bed.  The following conversation then took place:

Me:  “Callen, put those away and pick out some pajama’s.  Those are daytime clothes; you need sleep clothes.”

Callen:  “But Mom, my thumb says yes”.  (He’s giving me the thumbs up sign)

Me:  “But Callen, my mouth says no.  Go put those away.”

Callen:  “But my thumb says yes!”  (Again, he’s giving the thumbs up sign and now has a huge smirk on his face)

Me:  “Callen, I’m not going to argue with your thumb.”

Callen:  “I’m not going to argue with your mouth.”

He knew that last comment could get him in trouble, so he said it in a cute, joking sort of way.  What a smart-ass!  He's only 3!!!

Ziplines, chipmunks, and magnets, oh my!

Wow, it’s been a while since my last post.  Things have been busy.  We went on a camping trip with family, did some major deep cleaning in our garage, and have been preparing for school to start (in 13 days!).  Okay, so the camping trip.  It was very cool to be all together with my sister, brother-in-law, my awesome nieces, and my folks.  My sister’s family and my family had campsites next to each other and my folks were in an RV not far away.  We were camping at Mammoth Lakes and we took the boys fishing and to Mammoth Mountain where Jack and my nieces rode a kid-sized zipline.  It was a bit small for the girls but Jack loved it.  Poor Callen was super excited to try it but when he got up the ladder and on the platform he got really scared and cried until we could get him down.  No amount of "just like Diego" talk was going to work, so Jack got to do the zipline 4 times.

After that we rode the gondola up to the top of the mountain, and even in late July, we got to play in some snow up there.  In the summer, the ski runs are open up to mountain bikers who can take the gondola up with their bikes and ride down.  I brought my bike camping with us and was thinking about doing it but as we rode up and down the mountain on the gondola and watched people ride the trails down, it very quickly became obvious that I had no business riding on the mountain.  I would have been way out on my league.  Later that night, I took my bike out for a ride.  I ended up on a paved bike trail and after the extreme coolness I had seen on the mountain earlier that day, I couldn’t help but feel lame out there on my bike.  The views were incredible but there were so many little chipmunks running across the path that I could hardly look up to see my surroundings.  I was certain I would hit one, crash into something, and limp back to camp crying about how I killed a cute little chipmunk.  This scenario played over and over in my head until I got off the path.  Maybe I would have been better off going down the mountain.  At least then if I got hurt, it would have been doing something cool.  Overall the camping trip was a lot of fun.  My sister brought along some magnets that are used to clean up construction sites.  My boys were dragging those things all over picking up bottle caps and other old, dirty “treasures”.  I also bought a pack of large paperclips and buried them around the campsite.  Everyone was happy, enjoying some quiet time while they pulled those magnets all over the place.  Ah, it was lovely.  I’ll be putting those magnets on MY Christmas list this year.

An interview with an experto

   Lately Jack is under the impression that he can speak Spanish.  I’m not sure where he got this idea but a few times a day he’ll make up some word that has a little tongue roll (or not) and then explain its meaning in English.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd3FMmqR848

It was hard not to laugh during the recording, especially since I could hear Callen doing this in the other room:

Mini Vacation!...oh, and I'm such a jerk

This weekend my friend Tracey and I went on an overnight trip.  On Saturday morning, we left at 9am and we got home yesterday at 1pm.  We spent all day Saturday at Six Flags and spent the night at a hotel.  It wasn’t a big expensive trip but it was a really great get away from our usual stay-a-home-mom thing.  We spent our time leisurely doing whatever we wanted, with no schedule or kids depending on us.  It was all about what we wanted to do!  Imagine that!!!  Ever since I first became sleep deprived after Jack was born, I have had a fantasy about checking into a hotel by myself and sleeping all day, undisturbed.  Well, this mini trip beat that fantasy.  We had a great day at the park, a really nice dinner with drinks at a restaurant after, and then went back to a comfy and quiet hotel room to relax.  I don’t usually sleep great in hotel beds, especially without my hubs, but Saturday night I got some of the best sleep of my life!  The bed was super comfortable and I slept like a rock.  We woke up around the same time, did some more relaxing, and had some coffee.  Check out time wasn’t until noon so we didn’t have to rush around and hurry for anything.  We just leisurely went about our day.  After check out, we went to breakfast and then headed home. 

The only down side to the trip was when Tracey and I were having lunch at Six Flags.  I saw a man and a woman walk by us and the woman was carrying a backpack on her front, a backpack on her back, and had bags and each hand.  The man walking with her was carrying nothing.  I said to Tracey “what’s with that Dude?  Can’t he carry something?”  As they continued by, Tracey noticed that he only had one arm.  I think the man may have noticed me motioning to them as I was talking about them to Tracey.  I still feel like a total jerk about this incident.

Yes, this really happend.

This is a true story.  No names have been changed to protect the innocent or guilty and details have not been embellished for the sake of drama.  This really happened. 

I was scheduled to fly out of Sacramento at 7am on Southwest this last Wednesday.  The Federal Government paid for my ticket so I could do an interview for an upcoming Federal trial.  I have friends in San Diego and I arranged my travel so I could get there early and stay until late the next day.  This was all supposed to be very simple, but what it turned into was a complete mess.  On Wednesday morning, I got up at 4am, got ready, got packed (no checked luggage, just a backpack), ate some cereal and at 5am I left for the airport.  At 6am, I arrived at the airport.  At this point, I should mention that I am not a happy flier.  The last time I was in a plane was 2006 and it was a bad experience.  I get so nervous that the day after a flight, all of my muscles are sore from being so tense and I’m mentally exhausted from the stress of it all.  So I’m stressing about the flight, nervous about my interview, but also excited to get it all over with so I can see my friends.  Here was what my plans were for the trip.  (I’m kind of a planner):

4:00am – Wake up

5:00am – Leave for airport

6:00am – Arrive at airport

7:00am – Catch flight to San Diego

8:30am – Arrive in San Diego and meet my friend Deb’s daughter for a ride to Deb’s house (Deb is still at work).

9:00am – Arrive Deb’s house, relax a bit, get settled

10:30am – Leave for lunch with an old friend

11:00am - Meet my old friend (former boss from my Navy days in Hawaii) in Coronado for drinks and lunch

12:30pm – Leave for Naval Station

1:00pm – Arrive at Naval Station for interview

Unknown time – Go back to Deb’s house and relax/nap

6:00pm – Arrive at Laura and Luis’ house for dinner and catching up

Unknown time - Head back to Deb’s house

All next day – Spend time with Deb

9:45pm – Catch flight back to Sacramento

This is not a complicated schedule and if things changed a bit, I can deal with it, but here’s what ended up happening:

4:00am – Wake up

5:00am – Leave for airport

6:00am – Arrive at airport

6:30am – Flight is delayed (mechanical issue)

7:30am – Flight cancelled (before the airline desk person made the announcement, Deb’s daughter called and told me she saw online that it was cancelled…she knew before I did).

7:30-8:30am – No updates from the airline

8:30am – I got in a line at the gate desk with only four people in front of me

9:00am – Finally my turn to speak with the airline person about getting on another flight

9:15am – With all San Diego flights full until 5:00pm, I get booked on a flight to Ontario, Ca

9:20am – Make arrangements to get a rental car when I arrive in Ontario so I can drive to San Diego

9:25am – Run to the bar to chug a beer before I board the flight (it cost $9.15 but was totally worth it and got me through the flight)

9:30am – Board flight to Ontario

11:00am – Arrive in Ontario

11:15am – Arrive at rental car desk

11:20am – Lose my wallet with everything I need in it

11:30am – Get my wallet back after someone finally decided to look in the lost and found for me.

11:35am – Begin drive to San Diego

I had already called my old boss and told him I couldn’t make it and contacted the interviewer and told her I would be late.  She told me to call when I got to San Diego and we would arrange for a new interview time for later that day.

1:15pm – Arrive at the San Diego airport to drop off the rental car. 

1:20pm – Realize my rental car company is not located with ALL the other rental car companies.

1:21pm - Pull over into an empty parking lot to call the rental car company to get their address and directions

1:24pm – Pull out of parking lot and begin driving to rental car location

1:24pm – Get into car accident (no injuries and not my fault, but my rental is in bad shape from the driver’s side door all the way back).

1:25pm – Exchange information with disgruntled TSA employee (again, it was her fault…I have pictures but somehow she is blaming me).

1:30pm – Deb’s daughter Heather sees me on the side of the road and pulls over (she was in the wrong location too).

1:45pm – Heather and I begin driving again to rental car location in separate cars

1:48- 2:00pm – drive around searching for rental car location, unsuccessfully

2:00pm – Heather says “Oh, I have GPS.  Should we plug that in?”

2:00pm – I say “Um, yes please”.

2:02pm – Once again, begin drive to rental car location

2:08pm – Arrive at rental car location

2:08pm – Sort out the whole accident mess.

2:25pm – Leave rental place with Heather

2:30pm – Call interviewer and left a message

2:45pm – Arrive at Deb’s house with Heather

3:30pm – Interviewer call me back and wants to meet in 20 minutes

3:31pm – Leave to meet interviewer

3:50pm – I get lost on my way to Naval Station San Diego and call Deb twice to get me back on track

3:55pm – Arrive at Naval Station Pass and ID office (I no longer have a military ID and can’t get on base by myself.  Interviewer is planning on getting me a pass so I can follow her on base in Deb’s car.)

4:10pm – Meet interviewer at Pass and ID office (she was also lost).

4:10–4:20pm – Interviewer discusses with Pass and ID clerk her frustration about how on other bases she is allowed to escort people on base and doesn’t understand why she is not being allowed to do so now.

4:20pm – We leave in separate cars to park my car “somewhere” so I can drive with her in her car to the interview location.

Okay, this is taking forever and I don’t want to bore you (too late?) so I’ll just summarize the rest.  She pulls out of the parking lot, I follow in Deb’s car and we wait at a red light forever!  It literally never turned green so we get into another lane and turn toward the base gate.  Sure enough, she is able to talk the gate guard into allowing me to get on base with my driver’s license as an ID.  I soon found out that despite the directions to the interview location being sent to me from her via email, she has never actually been to the base legal office.  The directions seemed very simple, but were actually just vague and as we soon found out, incorrect.  I followed her all over base for about 20 minutes until one of the other interviewers called her back to direct us to the office.  We finally get to the office and I see a friend that I haven’t seen in almost 11 years standing in the foyer.  I rush passed the 5 other interviewers waiting there for me to give him a hug.  I may have come off a little rude, but I got caught up in the moment.  So finally the interview starts and lasts over 2 hours and by the time I get out, I’m 40 minutes late for dinner at Laura and Luis’.  I call them, tell them I’m on my way, and I leave the base and get to their house.  I had only eaten breakfast at 5am and a bean burrito just before I got to Deb’s house so I was really hungry and they fed me some yummy pasta.  What followed was an awesome evening of catching up with friends.  They had me laughing so hard that the horrible day I had seemed to disappear as quickly as the first beer they gave me.  That evening with Laura and Luis made everything I had been through that day worth it (although I was still very much exhausted by it all).  I spent the entire next day with Deb and despite the mess I had been in the day before, I considered my trip to San Diego a success.  Of course, when Deb dropped me off at the airport that night, I learned that my flight was delayed.  Uhhhhgggg!  So, I got in at 1am, watched The Real Housewives of New York until 1:45am, and went to bed at about 2am.  I’m still recovering today but my husband really did a good job with the boys while I was gone.  So with everything else that was going on, the one thing I never had to worry about was how things were at home.  At the end of it all, I just feel really thankful that I have such incredible family and friends.  After all that, I still feel very lucky.

Confession of a stay at home mom.

I know my husband will be reading this and I’m totally okay with that.  (Sweetie, I don’t worry, it’s nothing bad).  So my day as a stay at home mom is probably similar to most families with a stay at home mom.  Many of the things my boys and I do each day are the same; we get up, eat breakfast, they get some free time to shake off the morning grumpies while I shower, they get dressed, we do chores, go to the gym, eat lunch, have some more free time, go out and play, come in for dinner, get a bath, and then we their bedtime routine.  Of course not every day is exactly the same, but unless we have something specifically planned, this is our day.

So here is the confession part:  I spend all day taking care of my young boys so when I get a chance to do ANYTHING by myself, I will do it.  The list of what I will do includes, but is not limited to, filing all the paperwork in my “file pile”, regrouting whatever needs regrouting (I would be happy to read a grouting book to learn how to grout), cleaning the entire kitchen floor with baby wipes, cleaning the garage from top to bottom, disconnecting all the wires from our Bose, PS3, TV, and Tivo, scrambling them all up and reconnecting them correctly and neatly.

I would do all of this not because I don’t like to spend time with my boys, but because while I’m am spending time with my boys, I see all the things around me that need to be done.  My boys, of course, are my priority, but being able to focus fully on anything without almost constant interruption is somehow very satisfying for me.  Not only is it a break (more of a mental break, really) but I complete something big that was on my list and what a relief that can be.  This break is always better if my husband is the one watching the boys while I’m doing whatever it is I’m doing.  Jack and Callen love spending time with their Daddy and I can see that the break we have all had (me from them, them from me, Blanton from work) has done us all good.

So, here’s what made me think of all of this: yesterday I had enough time to steam clean the family room rug!  It really needed it and this morning when I woke up I was so happy to see how awesome the carpet looked.  Lame?  Yes, I know and my 22 year old self would tell me to get a life, but I don’t care!  Yesterday I spent a few hours by myself, home alone in the house, watching a Tivoed episode of Swamp People during each emptying of the gross water that was being sucked out of the carpet.  (I could go on about this and even show pictures, but it’s too shameful.  The word “yuck” does not do it justice.)  Anyway, I feel refreshed today and that's kind of rare but part of the territory when you have young kids.  Yay for me and my mental break yesterday!  Lame?  Again, yes, I know.  But again, I don’t care!

Our summer so far

  I'm a few days late posting this because I've had some issues getting pictures uploaded to the website.  Anyway, the summer has been going well and we have done a lot of fun activities.  It hasn’t been as structured as I would like and every day I feel like I’m making it all up as I go, but we are all having fun.  So far this summer, we have gone to Six Flags, Fairy Tale Town, done a lot of swimming with friends, seen movies, gone to many parks, and played out front almost every day, and had a small birthday party for Jack.  Here's a few pictures and videos from our summer so far:

On the 1st Saturday of every month, Home Depot has a kids workshop.  They provide everything for the kids to made a project and in June, the boys make a Father's Day gift with our close friends Sydney and Shaylyn.

 Here we are having fun with our friends again in the water on our driveway.  The boys get to play with their friends I get to chat with my awesome friend Tracey. :)

This is a picture of Callen drinking from his sippy with his feet.  Jack can't stand not to be in pitures so he joined in.  I had to restage them to get a picture of it but when I first saw Callen doing this, he was only using his feet to get the cup to his lips.  I've said this so many times bfore, but he comes up with some crazy stuff.

Callen is sooooo cute.  See below video for indisputable proof.

On this day, in 2005...

Today is my oldest son, Jack’s 6^th birthday so I thought I would share a funny story about the day he was born.  My husband was still in the Marine Corps so we were at the San Diego Naval Hospital.  My induction began on the morning of June 24^th at about 9am and Jack wasn’t born until the next day at 624am.  My husband had told me months in advance that he didn’t want to see the action and wanted to stand next to me “above the equator”.  So bata bing, Jack was born and he was being cleaned up while another doctor was looking after me.  Blanton was at the table with Jack when he looked over to me and out of the corner of his eye, caught a glance at some “unpleasantness” near me (I’ll leave it at that).  He had his big military issued boots on and suddenly I heard an about-to-vomit sound and then saw him bolt out of the room.  He ran down the hall and this is what everyone in the room heard.  Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!  Bbbblllaaaahhhh!  Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!  Bbbblllaaaahhhh! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!  Bbbblllaaaahhhh! Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!  Bbbblllaaaahhhh!  I couldn’t help but laugh and I apologized to the doctor who was doing whatever with my uterus and she said that my laughter was actually helping…but even if it wasn't, I couldn't have stopped.  Blanton was gone for 20 minutes and the doctors had become concerned about him but just before they were going to check on him, he walked back in looking very pale.  It was such a strange time to have that kind of uncontrollable laughter but it really was just plain funny, and it was the second best thing that happened on that day.  Jack weighed 7lbe 12oz and I fell in love with him instantly and have been ever since.  Happy birthday to my biggest little guy!

Future job possibilities????

We’ve all had our moments of “the grass is greener” and as a stay at home mom, I’ve definitely had my share.  Before I had my oldest son, I had an incredible job.  The best boss, co-workers/friends, great pay, and I had a real love for the work I did.  My heart was really in that job and since I left that job six years ago, I’ve often felt sad knowing that it isn’t likely that I’ll ever have a job that great again.  Despite feeling that way, I would never have chosen a different path than the one I did.  As much I miss that job and as frustrated as I sometimes get at home with my boys, I wouldn’t change it for anything.  I try hard to be a glass-is-half-full kind of person so in order to stay positive on rough days, I often think about how I can apply the skills I’ve learned at home to a future job.  I began writing notes down when I first started this blog, so here is what I have so far:

- Thanks to my boys trying to get away with lying about things that only they could have possibly done, like putting boogers around the edge of their yogurt cup while they are holding it, I have learned how to read people much better.  Young or old, people have become much easier for me to read…so maybe an exciting career as a parole officer could be in my future?

- I have developed the ability to correctly predict many of the actions of my boys and dog several minutes before they happen.  I can’t predict the words that come out of the boys’ mouths (not even Nostradamous could) but just seeing a look on their face or the way they move is enough for me to know their next move…I’m pretty sure I know what they’re going to do even before they do.  Hmmm…will you see me on late night TV someday advertising my psychic hotline?

- I can battle the illogical with the even more illogical and come up with a reason why my boys should do whatever I want them to do.

Actual example:

Callen:  “Mommy, I need my silly straw with me when we take Davey for a walk!”

Me:  “No you don’t, Cal.  Let’s just go.  Look at Dave…he’s ready and you still need to get your shoes on too.”

Callen: “But I need my silly straw.”

Me:  “Okay Cal.  You can take your silly straw on the walk but you won’t be able to find it until you have your shoes on, it just won’t work.”

Callen: “Oh, okay” he said as if I had explained why he was having trouble finding it.  He went to get his shoes on and I put the straw out so he would find it.

Do I have a future in writing the logic portion of the SAT exam?

- The boys and I have a special relationship with our garbage man.  The boys because they yell to him from our driveway until he honks and waves to them after getting our garbage on Thursdays and me because he has caught me a few times putting out the trash bins in my PJ’s (twice he has waited patiently until I finished dragging them to the curb…deeply embarrassing).  Also, he is the same guy we had at our other house in Folsom, except he came on Wednesdays.  So the garbage man and the Austin’s go way back.  Does this mean I have a friend in the sanitation business who can hook me up with a job?  Will I have to approach him for this favor in my PJ’s so he will recognize me?

Whatever I end up doing for work in the future, I have no doubt that between being a U.S. Navy Sailor (Go Navy!), working for the Navy as a civilian, and being a stay at home mom to two boys, I can handle whatever is thrown my way.  Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs has nothing on me.