"...and the summer begins!"

The last week has been crazy.  It was Jack’s last week of school and his class was on the early schedule.  Instead of going to class at 11:17 until 2:37, all the Kindergartners went from 7:52 to 11:14.  It may not seem like a big deal but it really messed with my routine and it always takes me a few days to regroup when that happens.  I’m a creature of habit; I can adjust but it takes me some time to figure out how to get things going smoothly again.   And smooth is the key to my sanity, which is why I haven’t updated for a few days.  I was insane. 

On Jack’s first day of summer break, we went to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom with some good friends, Brenda and her two girls.  It was a lot of fun and the kids were great but outings with kids in that kind of environment are inherently stressful.  It didn’t get bad at all until right before we left when let the kids pick out a small souvenir.  Jack was as indecisive as always, picking up and putting back the same two items for 15 minutes and Callen, who had been a trooper all day without his nap, was on the edge of a serious meltdown.  He gets unbelievablly mischievous when he’s tired and does things he shouldn’t do over and over again. He was touching everything and picking up the most easily breakable things he could find.  It was sending me over the edge and it was then I realized how mentally drained I was.  It all hit me at once and my mission immediately shifted to “get him in the car ASAP”.  When they finally picked something, we waited in what was to be the longest line of the day, the checkout line.  It was ridiculous!!!  When we finally got on the tram to get us to the parking lot, I felt relieved until Callen started up with his craziness again.  We were in the last row of the second to last tram car so the people in the car behind us had a perfect view of us.  I was ready for him to do anything and at one point, he quickly shifted to facing backwards and started to climb over the back part of the tram.  I heard a collective gasp from the tram car behind us.  If he would have made it over, it would have been ugly but it wasn’t even close; I was all over him and he really had no chance, although from the perspective of the people behind us I can see how it looked close.   Callen was no match for my level of vigilance. 

Saturday, I took them to the kick-off of the summer reading program at our library and then to a birthday party. Both boys were still tired and kind of acting up so I was so thankful when the day was finally over and they were in bed.  My husband was in Tahoe with his guy friends for their annual trip this weekend and I needed some quiet time.  At this point my head was spinning and I was still insane with all the chaos.  Yesterday, I let the boys lounge around in their PJ’s for most of the morning and it seemed to give us the break we all needed.  Whew!  I got through it!  Husband comes home today and I plan on taking a much needed nap while he spends some time with the boys. 

I have some fun plans for the summer but I have to admit that I worry whether I can keep them busy enough.  It’s a fine balance for all us between keeping the boys engaged and active and getting them the down time they (okay, we) need.  I’ll fill you in on my plans in my next post, but as always, I’m open for ideas.

Side notes -

I brushed Dave yesterday and I filled a plastic grocery bag with his hair.  I think I set a new record.

Callen crawled into my bed last night and I woke up with his legs across my stomach.  I remembered him getting into the bed, but he seemed so big that when I woke up, I thought he was Jack.  I looked all over the house for Callen (slightly frantic) and then saw that Jack was still in his bed and realized that it really was Callen in the bed.  Wow…he is really growing up.

Things I would pay for…if they existed

 - What are ice cream truck drivers doing during the day?  Well, who knows but they could be driving around in the morning selling coffee…to me.   I am not above chasing the coffee truck down the street if I need to. 

 - Bath toys that have scrubbers on them.  They love the bath…why not make it fun for them to clean while they’re in there?

 - Dinosaur shaped vegetables.

 - A playground where even little kids can do everything on their own.  I love taking my kids to the park but sometimes I just want to sit down for a minute.  Is that too much too much ask????

In summer mode already

I was doing this today.....

when I should have been doing this.

It just needs to be folded but I've been seriously putting it off.

Fun in the sun (and smoke)!

I’m trying to post something every day but some days are making that difficult.  Yesterday was a day filled with good, fun events but I was just plain tired and had to just get through them.   The day started off great…my friend Tracey and I were going to meet at the gym so I was rushing around trying to get the boys ready.  They wanted muffins for breakfast, so I turned on the oven and had them in the pan when I began to smell something strange.  It was kind of a burning smell, but not like food burning.  I didn’t think much of it and assumed that something gotten onto the bottom of the oven last time I used it.  So now, the oven was ready and I went to put the muffins in.  When I opened the door, a plume of smoke came out and I finally saw the source the odd smell.  We had pizza last weekend (I think that’s when it was) and the pizza boxes had been put in the oven, by me, of course, when there was still pizza in them (to keep them warm).  Someone, either my husband or I, had taken the last piece and left the boxes in there.  I know what you’re thinking and, no, I don’t use the oven very much.  When I wrote that I assumed that something had gotten onto the bottom of the oven last time I used it, I had no actual memory of when I had last used the oven, only a vague awareness that I, in fact, had used the oven before at some point in the past.  Therefore, the “something” that might have fallen to the bottom, could have been anything, since I can’t remember what I cooked last or when it was.  Sad, very sad. 

Anyway, the boxes were smoking and I had to put the whole house fan to get the smoke out of the house.  Luckily, no smoke alarms sounded.  Most of the time we use the whole house fan, it’s not to cool the house down but to get a smell out.  Again, sad.  Very sad.  Even sadder, is that this was at least the third time I have attempted to cremate pizza boxes in the oven.  I need to start checking to make sure the oven is empty BEFORE I turn it on.

Okay, so after the muffins were made and eaten, we went to the gym where nothing caught on fire.  Well, I assume it didn’t anyway.  Then we got home, I showered, Jack changed, and we rushed off to Tball.   Jack hit the heck out of a ball (coaches are pitching now) and it landed on the grass behind 2^nd base.  So technically it was an outfield hit.  They don’t call him Jackhammer for nothing!!  After Tball, we rushed home to get ready for the Tball end-of-season party at a park near our house.  It was Callen’s second day without a nap.  He’s still a napper but we just haven’t been home…poor guy, he loves his naps.  L   By the time we left the party, both boys were exhausted and I seriously needed a break.  It was 330pm and I got the boys bathed, in PJ’s, and comfy on the sofa with a movie so I could close my eyes for a minute.   I took a 20 minute nap and woke up with enough energy to get my chores done.  Whew, the day was almost over!!!  At 645, I put the boys to bed and they were already overtired at that point so it took a while to get them settled in.  So long story short (too late), the day was good except for almost burning the house down, a tired and unhappy 3 year old, and an exhausted and emotionally depleted mom who dropped the s-bomb (a story for another time).   Happy Sunday!!

"But it's not raining!"

Callen did something really funny yesterday but I didn’t think to post until I was talking to my friend Tracey yesterday.  (Hi Tracey!!!)  She and I were at Target last night and I walked in thinking I just needed one thing but I walked out with a new toilet seat and about 12 other things.  I really did need the toilet seat.  Anyway, some funny things happened with Jack yesterday afternoon, but they were a little gross, so I didn’t want to get into all the details in my blog.  I’ll just stick to the facts on my Jack story.  Jack had a check-up yesterday because he has been a little backed up lately, if you know what I mean.  He needed another “cleansing” so I gave him everything his pediatrician told me to and, well, it worked.  He spent an hour yesterday on the toilet playing his DS.  When my husband got home, Jack was in the bathroom (with the door open) and I was making dinner.  The house was filled with the smell of chicken and…long story short, my husband quickly put the whole house fan on and I was off the hook as far as having to help Jack with his “issue”.  Welcome home husband!!!

Okay, so back to Callen.  He and I were at Jack’s school waiting for him to get out of class.  We were playing paper, rock, scissors (Callen is always rock) when a women walked by not far from us.  She had an umbrella open to shade her from the sun.  Callen got up with tremendous purpose, ran over to her, and began repeating over and over “it’s not raining! But it’s not raining”.  He had his arms out in the “but why?” position but she ignored him and kept walking.  He looked defeated and came back over to me with a confused look on his face.  Despite my explanation, clearly in his mind, umbrellas are only for when it’s raining.  Period.   I’ve gotten this same reaction from him when I used our dog brush to get dog hair off our carpeted stairs.  “That’s Davey’s brush!  Not the stairs’!”

These are some of the simple things that have happened with Callen and Jack and I know it happens with every parent, every day.  I’ll never miss changing diapers, getting puked on, changing soaked bed sheets, or the thousands of hours I spent with them all hours of the night when they were babies and would not sleep.  Someday soon they will stop saying and doing these funny things and I will truly miss this time…even with all the not-so-fun stuff that comes along with it.

Last note:  my wonderful and handsome husband had to get up for work just before 4am this morning.  He set up the coffee maker for me so I would only have to push one button and coffee would be on.  I texted him to thank him this morning and told him he was “the awesomest” (a Jack word).  He wrote back: “you’re fairly swell yourself”.   There are a million reasons I love my husband but his smartass sense of humor is near the top of the list.

Gallery of Horrors

Jack constantly leaves his action figures on the floor of his room and Dave loves to sneak in there, root through them, and pick one out to chew on.  I used to take them away from Dave, and if it was still reasonably intact, put it back in Jack's room and close the door.  Now, because I'm tired of telling Jack over and over to keep his guys off the floor, I let Dave chew them until they have reached the desired level of disfigurement.  I've been saving them up for this picture.  There are more, but these are my favorite.  Poor Bullseye on the top right...he really got mangled.

I need my gloves!

This morning before taking Jack to school, Callen said that it looked like it was going to rain outside.  He then went into his room and came out with his rain jacket on and said to me, "Gloves, I need my gloves!  Where are they?  They're red and shaped like this".  He was pointing to his hand.  Tomorrow morning, when I wake up, I'll still be laughing about that.

It’s cold, rainy, and that’s not a lasso.

Yesterday morning, I heard my little guy, Callen, walking around the house.  No one else was up so I listened carefully to find out what he would do when he realized he had the house to himself.  He went into the kitchen and then walked into our room to my side of the bed where Dave, our dog, sleeps.  He curled up next to Dave’s bed and seemed to be going back to sleep…then I heard him have the following “discussion” with Dave:  “Davey, you didn’t eat your dog food…aren’t you hungry?  Why didn’t you eat your dinner?  Move over so I can sleep with you”.  As Callen took over Dave’s bed, poor Dave was expressing his irritation with grumbling and moaning, but he did move over.

Quick note about Dave:  He tolerates so much from my boys and I’m so thankful to have such a good dog.  He has had ears pulled, tail yanked, been chased all over the house because they wanted to “play” with him, and Jack, when he was little, used to put his finger in his butthole.  Nice, right?  Dave’s reaction always made Jack laugh and the vicious cycle continued.

Okay, so Callen is in Dave’s bed and I’m pretending to be asleep.  Just a few seconds later, Callen had gotten up and was right in front of my face…which I did not know until he shouted “boo!”  It was one of the worst ways I have woken up in a long time.  I was instantly grumpy, and with as much kindness as I could muster up, I sent Callen into the other room to wait for me to get there.  The next thing I heard was the backyard sliding door opening.  I got up and, sure enough, Callen was in the backyard, in the rain, swinging around my phone charger…pretending to be a cowboy.  “Horsey, horsey…I cowboy Callen”.   It was one of those times when the cute thing he was doing overshadowed the irritation I was feeling from having to get out of bed and deal with crazy kid stuff.

That’s how my day started yesterday…it was calm, then startling, then funny...all within about 3 minutes.

Creative Persuasion

Coming up with new ways to motivate my kids is a huge job.  For a while something will work and then within a few weeks the effectiveness wears off…and it seems to happen all at once, not gradually.  One morning, they’re happily doing their chores so they can earn their coveted raffle tickets (which can be used to buy toys or get special privileges) and the next morning, the ticket is not worth the weird blue paper it’s printed on.   A long time ago, my husband started giving me “WTF” looks about how often I change stuff but he does not really understand that it’s my job to teach our boys how to get their jobs done on their own…even if they’re motivated by rewards and it takes me five (or ten) times longer to get them to do than it would take me to do it myself.  So many times, I’ve held back the urge to just give up and just get it done, but I would not be doing my boys or myself any favors.   I have no intention of cleaning up after them even a minute after I realize they can do it on their own.

So here’s what I’m getting to:  Jack and Callen are all about speed.  Jack says, “How fast was that?”  “Look how fast I can do this”.  Callen, my back seat driver, is always telling me to pass other cars and to “go speed, Mom!” (fast).  As fast as Jack likes to go sometimes, he is incredibly slow when it comes to doing easy tasks for me, especially if it means he will be out of my sight for a few minutes and he may be able to get away with something without me seeing.  (He’s such an opportunist).  Last night I was doing dishes and I remembered that a sippy cup and sports bottle had been rolling around on the floor in the backseat of my car...um, for a while.  Anyway,  I had an idea:  “Hey Jack, I’ve noticed how fast you’ve been running the bases at TBall, how fast do you think you can run out to my car and grab the sippy cup and water bottle on the backseat floor?”  He said, “time me!” and ran off toward the garage and came running back with the cups.  It was a small victory, but I’ll take it. 

My second victory yesterday, I cannot take credit for.  This one I owe to my long-time friend Stephanie.  She told me that when her friend’s daughter lies, they tell the girl to stick out her tongue…if she’s lying, they tell her that there is a black line on her tongue.   Yesterday, Jack and Callen were playing in Jack’s room, and like always, Callen started crying.  He is not a cry baby, but Jack, knows how to stir things up, and seems to enjoy doing so.  So, Jack bit Cal on the thumb, and despite the distinctive teeth marks, he lied and said he did not do it.  I put him in time out and told him to stick out his tongue.  “Jack, there is a black line on your tongue and you’re almost six, do you know what that means?”  “No.” “Well, when kids are about six, they begin to get a black line on their tongue so that their parents will know when they’re lying…and Jack, the line on your tongue is very dark.  Do you want to tell me the truth now?”  “I bit Callen”, he said.  I know I’m lying to Jack to stop him from lying, but reasoning with him until I’m blue in the face has never worked.  I can reason with Callen, but Jack needs to know that he is busted and he does not stop trying to get away with stuff until he is absolutely convinced that the game is over.  They are just different that way, and as a parent I have to adjust to that in a way that works, even if my methods are not ideal. 

Okay, this is a bit longer than I intended and the boys are beginning to get restless.  So my “take away” from yesterday is that as the boys get older, I need to get more creative.  I’m not a yeller, but yes, I have gone there.  I’m not perfect, I’ve make plenty of mistakes.  I’ve been so incredibly aggravated, that almost a year ago, I kicked the bottom part of our sofa because I didn’t know what else to do and my foot just recently stopped being sore.  Being “creatively persuasive” is working for now and I’m not going to bed regretting having raised my voice or nursing a sore foot.   And it totally works!!!!!!  (for now).

My first post!

I usually spend a few minutes every couple of days posting some stuff about my boys on facebook, but now I have decided to waste my time in a whole new way.  Actually, I have designated my youngest son's nap time as my "lunch break" and I consider myself off the clock unless my really short boss wakes up unexpectedly.  I'll be writing during that time, so don't try to make me feel guilty.  Several have attempted and have not succeeded!!! 

  Anyway, I really hope this blog helps me hang into the writing skills I learned in college.  Lately, it feels like they're slipping away and someday I'll have to get a paying job again.  So, it's time to combine two of my favorite things: my boys and the written word.  I hope the two can give me a chance to really reflect on the funny things that make being a mom so great...and I hope it can make other people laugh too.

Oh, and yesterday I caught Callen, my little son, pooping on the backyard patio and today Jack asked me why boogers are green.  Welcome to my blog!